


The Other Side of the Coin

by Katrina_Leann



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Lacey is done with the drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 17:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8293451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrina_Leann/pseuds/Katrina_Leann
Summary: Lacey decides to talk to Belle about Rumple because she's done with the drama.





	1. The Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This starts out a bit anti Belle but not enough to where I think I need to tag it. 
> 
> TW for mentions of abuse.

The ship gave another loud creak as it swayed, the waves crashing against its side. It was impossible, Belle decided, to actually sleep right now.

No, it's impossible to sleep without him. A quiet voice chimed in her ear. It was her own, but before all of Rumple's lies and manipulations. The version of her that openly loved both the man and the beast.

What had happened? Hadn't she told Baelfire that she loved all of him? Where had that determined woman gone?

She'd died when Belle had found the dagger.

Her hope and trust had dissolved into nothing in that one horrible moment of complete clarity. Rumple had lied. Worse still, he'd lied and used her as an excuse to hide it. An unwitting pawn.

Bile climbed her throat at the memory and Belle shook those thoughts away. She was already fighting nausea and morning sickness coupled with the fact that she was staying on a ship, she really didn't need any more help to get sick.

_Yeah? Well you're on Hook's ship. How do you think that makes Gold feel?_

Lacey.

That made Belle pause for a moment. She hadn't heard from her in a while. She supposed it was strange to have an ever present voice in your head that sounded just like you but sometimes felt completely opposite.

_Right in one! Now imagine this, except hundreds of them, everyday. And none of them are your own. That's what Gold deals with._

Belle clenched her jaw and scowled into the darkness of her cabin, "By his own choice."

Normally she wouldn't speak aloud when arguing with herself - which she did more and more these days. But it was usually herself, not Lacey, - but she didn't have to stay quiet tonight.

Hook had informed her that he'd be staying with Emma this evening, and to call his phone should she need him.

Inside her head, Lacey gave a snort of annoyed amusement. _Right, Hook is going to protect us from Gold? You do know that Gold kicked his ass when Hook had magic, right? On this ship. Besides... Gold isn't who we need protection from._

Belle drew her knees up on the narrow cot, covering herself with a tattered tan quilt. The pattern had long since faded, Belle thought, but the light outline was still barely visible so she traced it with the very top of her index finger.

 _Really? You're ignoring me?_ Lacey scoffed, and Belle saw a flash of tumbling chestnut curls shaking in disbelief.

She drew the blanket higher over her slight form and closed her eyes. Just because she couldn't sleep didn't mean that she couldn't try to. The Jolly Roger gave a violent tremor as a strong gust of wind blew, making Belle grip the old quilt tighter.

_Y'know... I bet the cot at Gold's shop is more comfortable than this. And also, not on a ship._

"That's not an option," Belle dismissed, then sighed when she remembered that she was supposed to be ignoring Lacey.

_Ha! Like that could ever happen. Unlike Gold, I won't take your crap._

"What is that supposed to mean?" Belle asked, slowly sitting up and leaning against the wall behind her. She wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, not that she was surprised, but that didn't mean that she had to be uncomfortable.

_You know exactly what it means. You're smart, right? You don't need me to spell it out._

Lacey sounded as if she was talking to a disobedient child, her voice laced with exasperation. Belle's voice.

_No. My voice. Don't mistake that, bookworm. I may be you, but you're not me. If you were, we wouldn't be in this situation right now. We'd be with Gold, in an actual bed._

"No," Belle stated instantly, shaking her head. The motion made her nausea even worse and Belle let out a groan of discomfort. "We wouldn't be with him. I wouldn't, at least."

Lacey was quiet for a moment, and then said, _You're right. You wouldn't be with him. You'd be alone, cold and tired and unhappy because you're too stubborn to see that you're losing him. Every day you're losing him, and one day...he won't be yours to lose._

Belle felt her heart give a painful lurch at that, tears stinging at her eyes, "That's not true."

A deep, dark laugh echoed around in her head. _Really? You think he'd just going to wait around for you forever? He may love you, but he's just a man. He needs somebody. You saw that in the Dark Castle and here. He'll find someone._

Another wave of nausea rolled through her, but this time Belle couldn't blame the sea nor could she blame the ship. The image of another woman with her Rumple was the cause of her sickness this time.

_Your Rumple? Seriously? What a load of... Tell me something Belle, d'you hear yourself? What makes you think you have any right to him, let alone his heart? Go ahead. I wanna hear this._

"I..." Belle trailed off for a moment, then blinked. "It's not that simple." She said finally.

Lacey laughed again, nasty and dark. _Yeah it is. Lemme tell ya, this is about as easy as it gets. Just name one reason that you deserve him. I mean, you're all about making him deserve you, right?_

"No! I've never-"

Lacey cut her off, _You sure? So...this doesn't sound familiar? 'You want a future with me, you have to do this my way'._

"That wasn't," Belle cleared her throat. "It wasn't meant like that. I-"

 _Went to the woman who killed his son for advice_ , Lacey finished. _As if hurting him verbally wasn't enough. As if tearing him down didn't hurt enough_.

Lacey's voice had become snappy and sharp, leaving Belle shocked speechless.

Where was the lie?

_I'm glad to see I'm finally getting through to you, clever one. It's probably too late though... You have no idea, do you?_

"About what?" Belle hardly recognized her own voice. She was tired, so unbelievably tired and sick and confused. There was an ever increasing feeling of guilt building up and Belle wasn't actually sure that she wanted to hear what Lacey had to say.

_What Zelena did to him. He told us, y'know. We were asleep - you were asleep, actually - and he'd just woken up from a nightmare. Again. So he told us because he knew that you wouldn't hear and he could get it off of his chest. And his plan worked, you didn't hear. But I did._

Unable to resist anymore, Belle dove into the complete darkness and blindly groped for the waste basket. Only when her fingers wrapped around the cool metal did Belle finally retch, her stomach rolling.

The hardwood of the floor felt uncomfortable, but Belle hardly noticed as Lacey sent vaguely fuzzy memories through her, the sound of Rumple's tear-choked voice making her chest ache.

He'd stayed quiet, the words barely whispered into her mane of curls, but she could remember now. The feeling of moisture on the back of her neck and a forgotten reminder of turning on the AC before bed. But it hadn't been sweat that made her curls stick to the back of her neck.

It'd been Rumple's quiet tears.

Belle let out a hiccuping sob, then started actually crying. Harsh, ugly sobs that wracked her from head to toe and totally drowned out the ever present nausea.

_Now we're here. On Hook's ship. The real reason that Rumple's first family got torn apart. Seems fitting that this would be where his second one was ruined too, yeah?_

"Stop! P-please just stop. I don't want to hear anymore!" Belle cried out, curling into a tight ball on the floor.

Lacey was relentless. _Oh? You don't want to hear anymore? You don't want proof that you're just as responsible for this separation as he is? That's pathetic. You can listen for hours when the finger is pointed at Gold, but the second it turns to you the line is drawn?_

Belle was shaking as she sobbed now, her throat burning in her hysteria.

_So tell me Belle...what've you done to earn his love back?_

Talking a few deep, shaky breaths, Belle forced herself to answer. "N-nothing."

_Right-o! In fact, all you've done is show him the many reasons why he shouldn't trust you, and that's just trust. We won't even start with the whole True Love thing._

Belle nodded, feeling hollow and drained. Everything that Lacey said was true. It was like she'd been wearing a pair of blinders, showing her what the others wanted her to see but not Rumple. Her True Love.

Her husband.

 _Look_ , Lacey said quietly, making Belle startle a bit. Her voice had taken on a soothing tone, like one you'd use to assure a scolded child that they were still loved. _I'm not saying it's all your fault. Gold has screwed up, I know that. You know that_.

_But here is where there's a difference._

_He's given you everything you asked him to. You told him to be a hero and fight the bear, he did. You told him you wanted some space, he left you alone._ Belle felt Lacey pause for a bit, _Well briefly, but that wasn't his fault._

_Anyway, you told him you wanted him to take care of the contract and he did. You told him that you wanted honesty and you got it. Honestly Belle, how far do you expect the man to bend to your will? Do you even know? Or will you only be satisfied when his back finally breaks?_

"I understand," Belle said softly, her voice raspy from crying. And she did, the blinders were off now and she saw everything clear as day. She saw everything.

 _I know_ , Lacey promised. Belle heard something that sounded suspiciously like a relieved chuckle. _Believe me Belle, I feel it. Rest now. Something tells me that you've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow_.

She did.

First she was going to stop by Emma's to talk with Hook and then she was going to find the rest of these "heroes" and have a nice long chat. But this time, she was leaving her blinders behind.

 _And_ _Gold_? Lacey queried softly.

Belle felt her heart drop a little. "I'm going by the shop last. Do you think he'll listen?"

 _Would you? If the situation was reversed_? Lacey clarified.

Belle shook her head sadly. "No. I probably wouldn't."

_Hey, at least you admitted it. That's already progress....just - talk to him. Tell him everything._

"Apologize?" Belle added, picking herself up off the floor and lying back down on the uncomfortable cot. Hopefully this would be the last night that she slept here.

 _Apologize_ , Lacey agreed. _The rest is up to him._

Belle knew what she wanted to say, and then... Lacey was right. Whatever happened next would be up to Rumple.


	2. The Voices in His Head

Nimue was determined to drive him completely crazy. That was the only plausible explanation for why she hadn't shut up since Belle left and he'd returned to his shop.

_You just can't handle the fact that I'm right, spinner. You know what you are and pretending otherwise only caused unnecessary - well deserved, mind you - but unnecessary pain._

Rumple continued working with the old watch he was restoring, used to the battle going on in his head.

 _Well excuse him!_ Zoso shot back, _Not all of us are okay with killing our True Love._

Rumple scoffed at that but said nothing. It was best to let them settle these disputes among themselves and without interference. He'd only made that mistake once and it'd resulted in a week long migraine.

Rumple was already dealing with enough.

Nimue growled, low and dangerous. _Not all of us have True Love, beggar. It'd do you well to remember that you're an unlovable nothing. Like the spinner._

Rumple rolled his eyes as he contemplated the scissors held loosely in one hand. Nimue's words had stopped hurting centuries ago, especially after all the times they'd been proven true.

Carefully, he opened then and watched closely as he snapped them back closed. A maniacal smile curled at his lips as he repeated the motion again and again.

 _Uh, spinner? You okay?_ Zoso chimed in his head. Rumple ignored him.

He stood slowly, scissors still clutched tightly in his hand, and make his way into the small bathroom in the back of his shop. Rumple felt his heart hammering as he raised the open scissors to a section of hair.

As he closed the scissors and watched the silver streaked brown strands flutter to the ground, a sense of relief shook him. Shaking, he moved the scissors to the next section, repeating the process over and over until his once long hair decorated the floor and he was left breathless, leaning against the sink.

The Dark Ones were all stunned silent, only a quietly whispered _Well, damn..._ from Emma breaking through.

Tentatively Rumple ran his fingers through the short strands, biting the very edge of his lip to stifle the grin he felt trying to break through.

So lost in his head was he that he jumped at the sound of the bell above his shop door ringing. And, just for a moment, he forgot himself - the power coursing through his system and the hundreds of voices in his head.

 _Spinner, there's someone here,_ Nimue stated.

Shaking himself, Rumple felt a sneer tug at his lips. Of course the one moment that he'd found some semblance of peace would be destroyed.

Making his way out front his black mood faltered at seeing who was there.

Belle was swaying side to side, obviously nervous, but when the curtain was pulled she froze. Rumple almost frowned at her shocked expression, but then he remembered.

Haircut. Right.

"Can I help you, dearie?" He asked coolly, rather proud of the way his voice didn't shake. Crying in front of Belle had never made a difference before and at this point he'd rather be controlled again than show any vulnerability around her.

The last thing he wanted to do was give her anymore ammunition to use against him.

"I just wanted to...talk," he saw her wince slightly, the shake her head softly. "I-I know what I said on the Jolly Roger and after I woke up but..."

And then Rumple laughed. Deadly and mean, leveling her with a withering stare. "Are you serious?" Her head snapped up as she looked at him, silently pleading. "You are..." he muttered in disbelief.

Belle cleared her throat a little, scraping the toe of her shoe against the shop floor. "I know that I hurt you-"

" _Hurt_ me?" He hardly recognized the shrill voice as his own. He could feel tears welling up as he gave a humorless laugh. "Hurt me. No, Belle... You destroyed me. You did the worst thing possible, you gave me _hope_ ," he spat the word like an ugly curse, "and then ripped it away."

Tears had slipped down her cheeks as she stammered, "I know. I know, it's just-"

"I needed you!" He cried out. Then froze. _Don't let her see you like this. Don't let her see you weak._ "I needed you, Belle. But you weren't there."

He could hear her shaky breaths and saw the muscles of her throat move as she swallowed thickly. "I'm so sorry, Rumple."

"As am I," he gave her a broken smile, "but this is better, right? It's like you said, us being together only causes heartbreak."

Belle shook her head, "I was wrong when I said that."

"No," Rumple corrected. "No, you were right. We've certainly proven that."

Belle took a few hesitant steps forward, her hands clasped in front of her. "Us being together isn't what causes heartbreak," her eyes searched his face as she took a deep breath, "us being stupid is what causes heartbreak."

Rumple regarded her warily, feeling very tired suddenly. "I can't keep doing this, Belle. _We_ can't keep doing this."

Belle nodded as she stepped closer still, "I know that, but it's different this time. I understand now."

"Understand?"

"Yes," she glanced around the shop for a moment, then smiled hesitantly at him. "I understand, Rumple."

"I don't," he said frankly, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Let's just say that I had a long talk with someone from my past and she made some excellent points," Belle stated cryptically.

"Such as?" Rumple questioned, unsure who would speak up on his behalf and more importantly, what the hell they said to change her mind.

Belle was a very strong willed person, once she made up her mind, there was no changing it.

"Such as the fact that I've been very demanding and unyielding lately. I ask and ask, but I don't grant you the same courtesy."

Rumple's mouth had fallen open, his mind whirring as he processed what she'd just said.

Belle gave him a bitter smile. "I told you, I've been thinking a lot about this."

"Indeed," Rumple muttered, then coughed to clear his throat. "So, what did you want to say? O-Or do?"

Belle bit her lip as she met his eyes. "Talk? Start slowly and actually talk? Maybe meet for lunch a few times a week."

That sounded...nice, actually. "Slow?" Rumple asked, and Belle nodded.

"Yeah. We have a lot to talk about and I don't want to try and rush it," she cracked smile and let out a little huff of laughter. "Just a day at a time?"

Rumple nodded, "I'd like that..." he trailed off, then looked at her with a small smile. "How do we...?"

"Well," Belle drawled, walking around to him and looping her arm through his, "I hear Granny makes a great hamburger..."

 


End file.
